Added: Mirtha Collett - Date: 05.08.2021 08:11 - Views: 33822 - Clicks: 5948
How do cuckolding scenarios occur and does cuckolding need to be humiliating? Is there a general acceptance of cuckolding? Like most people I just had this vague idea that a cuckold was a man worthy of mockery. After working with many couples who explore this I now believe the truth is that being cuckold today means something very different from what it did when the word was first coined. Cuckold originally meant being the wronged husband of an adulterous wife. The word is derived from the cuckoo bird which is known for laying its eggs in the nests of other birds.
An important part of this definition is the notion that the husband has no idea that his wife is pulling one over on him. Calling a man a cuckold is to mock him, according to this definition, the idea being cuckolding causes humiliation to the husband. Cuckolding is a sexual fetish that a lot of people enjoy. In that way, cuckolding is a subset of the BDSM kink world. However, while many other sexual fetishes have become more accepted in the mainstream cuckolding is still something that stays in the closet.
This seems reminiscent of the time the child shared his toys with the other boys to belong to the gang. Cuckolding appears more popular with couples from cultures and ethnicities that were once under colonial rule and there could be to be an unconscious belief that the western male can pleasure his partner better than he can. Some men explain that they feel they can not get the approval from their female partner sexually, so the fall back is to gain approval by arranging for another man to give her sexual satisfaction.
Another motivation that I have witnessed more than a few times is that the cuckolded man experiences the feeling of pleasure of being rejected when the actual sex act is taking place but then afterward experiences emotional euphoria when after having this amazingly satisfying sex with another man, his wife or girlfriend always returns to him. This behaviour is a convoluted process for the husband or boyfriend to feel wanted, needed and loved. The fact that she always returns to him is a bit like the classroom swat beating over the popular sporty jock. This emotional payback seems common with men who, as young boys experienced rejection and lack of affection by their mothers and who only occasionally were rewarded with praise and approval.
Watching a partner enjoy sex with another man recreates the feelings of rejection but her returning to him after the sex gives him feelings of relief and acceptance that the child experienced when the mother eventually noticed him. There is a masochistic element to some cuckold behaviours though no matter what the negative experience there is always a benefit somewhere. Getting pleasure from feeling jealous may appear odd but if the child lacked pleasure when young but saw other children receive pleasure toys, gifts, fun times, this will often create a psychology where the anticipation of receiving pleasure becomes pleasurable itself.
I had a client who was brought up in an extreme religious sect where all century technology, gifts, birthdays etc. Even having friends to stay was not permitted. He went to a regular school and was surrounded by children who received all these things. As an adult, he was made to have an arranged marriage and then who after catching his wife having sex with the babysitter found that the fact he was not good enough in bed and then watching another satisfy was very arousing. Needless to say, when the wife started to refuse to have sex with others since the relationship broke down since all she wanted was for her husband to love her and want her exclusively.
However, his need to be cuckolded was so deep that within three months of his next relationship starting he was asking his new girlfriend to have sex with others. As with any fetish or kink, there is always a psychological or basis to the need. If with a partner who wants to experience a particular fetish or kink that dose does not rock your own boat then you have a choice.
You either reject it and run the risk of forcing your partner to go elsewhere or you take time to understand and explore where these feelings originate from and then try to accommodate them in the relationship so that both can be comfortable with them. One might imagine that the female partner in the cuckold scenario would be overjoyed at being encouraged to have sex with other men, but this is not always the case. For a man to understand this is difficult because in the reverse many men would be ecstatic if given permission to have sex with another woman with their partner watching.
But this is very rare. It is unusual that a female partner enjoys watching her man have sex with another woman unless of course she is bisexual and can be involved herself. More common is to want to watch him with another man! Women do fantasies about having sex with other men and quite a few follow through these fantasies but generally prefer this without their partner being present. Having his watchful eye over the proceedings can be intimidating and distracting. Some women do get pleasure from humiliating their male partners but it is a fine balance for women to get this right.
It may be that the male partner holds the purse strings and security of the relationship and by either refusing to indulge him in his fantasy or to become emotionally involved with the third man may damage the relationship. However, if the male partner can no longer get an erection when having sex then sex with other men while he is present can be a practical solution but still have him still feel involved.
So before any couple embarks on a cuckolding experience it is wise to talk through and understand the motivations of the cuckold and the effect the cuckolding may have on his female partner. Seeking out a professional for the first cuckolding occasion can enable the couple to explore but with less risk to their relationship.
Try exploring Cuckolding for the first time with a professional masseur or escort. It also allows the couple to create the experience they want rather than to the agenda of the non-professional third party which if handled wrongly can threaten the stability of the relationship. As well as enjoying seeing their partner experience the pleasures of this massage it also provides a perfect opportunity to learn a few techniques in erotic arousal.
The watching male partner can then in and thus maintains the connection between the couple but also becomes an experience with all the excitement and exploration that having two men focussing on one female creates. For the past 12 years, Colin has helped men women and couples of all sexualities improve the quality of their relationships and intimate lives. He combines his knowledge of relationship psychology with his skills as a professional sensual masseur to help people achieve a fulfilling sex and love life.
In November in Cosmopolitan Magazine Colin was lauded as the man who women went to help achieve orgasm! He now regularly sees women for help in this area and also helps those with sexual fears, and guilt around sex, sexual performance problems and lack of sexual experience.
You can also read Colins latest article with Paisley Gilmour of Cosmopolitan on Why women pay for sexual massage. Follow Colin on Twitter or Facebook. Hello, I am Kitten T the Editor of itsakittensworld, passionate about sexual liberation and anything which encourages female sexual empowerment.
I Love horses! You can follow me on Twitter for my latest views on the world of KK. Killing Kittens Cuckold Ideas : humiliation or love and approval? Dec 09, The current conventional description of cuckolding is a man who gets turned on by watching his wife have sex with other men without taking part himself. She does it because it makes him aroused and reputedly because he is inadequate in bed himself.
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Cuckold Ideas : humiliation or love and approval?