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Dawn-Elise Snipes Feb 18, What does dominant and submissive mean in a relationship? Their fictitious BDSM relationship revolves around power dynamic , power play, and bondage and discipline. Christian Grey is evidently a male dominatrix the dominant partner , whereas Anastasia Steele plays a submissive role. Now, when we shift to reality, the first question that probably comes to mind is: Does that kind of relationship really exist? How does it work? Even though women are mostly represented as those who fall for dominant, strong, and powerful men who are just waiting for a fragile and gentle woman to come their way, the roles can be reversed as well.
As a matter of fact, nowadays, there are lots of men who are dying for the touch of a hot dominatrix and this has become their biggest sexual fantasy. Now that we covered the basics, we can proceed to explaining it in detail. Also, if you continue reading, you will find types of Dom Sub relationships , traits and roles of the dominant and submissive, and, of course, top rules to follow with some examples. So, stay tuned! Both dominant and submissive partners have their own roles. Actually, the dominant-submissive relationship can be seen in all aspects of life.
It does sound bizarre to most of us, but in actuality, relationships really do work this way; maybe even better than standard ones. In this type of relationship, there are strict rules that the submissive must follow. They are not usually extreme, but they have to be respected in order for the relationship to work. But for that to be true, the dominant one has to know exactly where those limits lie. The best way to gather information about your submissive partner is honest communication, by asking questions and never disrespecting their limits.
They can be changed. This relationship style is actually a lifestyle people take very seriously. If you were wondering: yes, these relationships really do work! Not every dominant-submissive relationship is the same as the next, but at the end of the day, they are all very dynamic and open-minded. These people can work very well together if they want the same things and share the same interest in BDSM. The biggest misconception about BDSM relationships is physical contact. Domination and submission, role play, and the like can be conducted digitally or over the phone as well.
They can be in a monogamous, polyamorous, or open relationship, and of any gender and sexuality. This means that partners in this kind of relationship take on their roles full-time. Their entire relationship is built on the principle of dominant-submissive and they are constantly fulfilling their roles in everyday life. And there are also those who only practice their roles during play scenes.
Again, sex is not a prerequisite in BDSM relationships in order to be called so. It is more a matter of choice and personal preferences. Being in such a relationship brings power dynamic to another level and that is why many partners prefer it.
Sex life is also based on power, and the fact that one partner is more dominant than the other brings equilibrium to sex life and relationship overalll. So, we could say that choosing this kind of relationship is more like choosing a lifestyle. Sandra LaMorgese sexpert; professional dominatrix ; fetishist; and holistic practitioner in mind, body, and spiritual holism claims that BDSM can help couples create a stronger bond and feel at ease. These two chemicals are associated with feelings of happiness, tranquility, joy, self-confidence, emotional well-being , and motivation.
In addition, the release of the chemical vasopressin compels people toward feeling bonded to one another. Physical contact between BDSM couples helps them express their sexuality and be present in the interaction instead of just following the same pattern as is the case in vanilla relationships. And this is what helps improve their mental health. People who practice BDSM are basically more open and more secure in relationships because this type of relationship requires trust and willingness to comply. Apart from mental healing, there is also physical healing linked to the power of touch.
When someone touches our skin, through massaging, playing, hugging, hand-holding, or having physical sex, we begin to experience physiological and physical healing. So, besides pleasure, BDSM can benefit both our mental and physical health, which is quite amazing. In order for you to better understand how all of this works, let me tell you some traits and roles of the dominant one in this type of relationship.
Male doms are not easily spotted, because as I said before, many men love to be adored and worshipped in this way — some just love it a tiny bit more. While the dom is all about being in control, the sub enjoys being controlled and loves to please their partner in every way possible. They are not a slave; their desire is simply to please their partner. The traits and roles of the submissive include:.
As mentioned ly, this is a specific type of relationship in which rules have to be established for everything to work properly and so that every side of the relationship gets what they need in order to be happy. Just to be clear, there are no set rules across the board, because these rules are created by the principles of both sides of the relationship, so that both know what to comply with, what to avoid, and how to enforce the rules.
If you want to engage in this type of relationship without having had any experience, then be careful and open-minded to all the rules that are about to come about in order to get the most out of it. As mentioned before, keeping an open mind really is crucial in this type of relationship.
In every relationship, you have to be open-minded about the values and perspectives of your partner, but more so in this particular one. It all depends on the experience you both have, as well as the willingness to learn from each other and work together. This is a dual effort and you have to work together to make it pleasant.
Also, you need to be open-minded to try out new things that you might not have liked or considered before. Maybe this time and the way he does it is actually different? Who knows? Your partner wants to fall in love with your human side, too; the one who knows how to have mercy and the one who is willing to bend the rules and give lighter punishments.
Empathy is the keyword when it comes to creating a successful BDSM relationship. Remember that this is not a part of your role. The only way to be trusted is to show trustworthiness first. You have to show your partner that you can be trusted to respect the rules and not cross the line. Imagine if a grown man would hit you as hard as he could, just because you trusted him and you let him do it? You have to lower your expectations to match the willingness of your partner. Just imagine if you came home from work with a friend and your wife was sitting on the floor in front of the door completely naked.
You are his partner, not a slave. Communication is key in this type of relationship, as in every other. You have to talk about health, boundaries, sex needs, and your experience in this type of relationship. If you refuse to talk about your wants and needs, then the relationship is doomed to fail without a doubt. If yes, invest in your communication and show your partner that they can be heard at any given time, because you will dedicate the time and energy needed to meet their needs. Because of the fact that BDSM can get a bit dangerous in-between the sheets, make sure to have a safe word that your sub will say so you know that they need to stop.
The dominant-submissive relationship requires both partners to be mentally and physically healthy. This involves good sleeping habits, a minimal intake of alcohol, a nutritious diet, and a stress-free lifestyle. Rather, invest in their well-being and let them take as much time as needed in order to regain their strength, then you can continue your relationship as before. Why are you doing all of this? To enjoy yourself, right? You both do it in order to have some fun and to enjoy your relationship on a whole new level. If not, stop. Start it as with every other standard relationship.
Understand each other, communicate, and be gentle. Have patience and your partner will thank you afterwards. In order to create a comfortable atmosphere for the submissive to relax more, the dominant has to be gentle and caring.
Have patience as the dominant or the submissive. If you have established rules at the beginning of the relationship, then be sure to fulfill them. If you have established certain rules, be sure to stick to them. That why you should, too. Because you might be a beginner in the world of a dominant-submissive relationship , I am going to give you some examples and ideas for submissive rules to follow.
But spanking should be as hard as you two agree on. A simple and effective rule. To let the dominant really feel his power, rules like these are needed. The submissive partner has to please their dominant at any given time of the day. The sub has to know to whom they belong so that the dom never takes their loyalty into question.
But making their master proud actually has a deeper meaning. This will improve both your physical and mental health because you will feel sensations of accomplishment, trust, and the ultimate bond. Whatever the dominant says he wants, he gets. I know that most of these things might sound confusing and perhaps even scary, but believe me, they can be very romantic and pleasant for both sides of the relationship.
A true dominant-submissive relationship is respect and care, and every woman wants that in her relationship. The only difference here is that there are strict rules established that you have to follow in order to keep both parties happy and satisfied just like in 50 Shades Of Grey.
When you do it for the first time , it will probably be different than you expected, but with time it will get better and better.Dom/sub
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Dominant And Submissive Relationships – Top 10 Rules To Follow